Happy 4th of July
Posted on July 4th, 2008 by Loyd
It Takes a Village to Raise a Child with Autism
Posted on June 18th, 2008 by Loyd
My friends at work often ask how we’re able to do it with 2 kids when they’re having a hard time with one. I honestly don’t think we could have accomplished all we have if it wasn’t for Bob and Donna, my mother and father in law.
When we’re heading to work at 6:45 in the morning Bob and Donna are getting up to get Zac and Katie. They feed, bathe, clothe and take Zac to school. Later in the day, after watching Katie all day, they pick Zac up from school and, during the summer months, take him swimming. Sometimes they even shuttle Zac back and for to occupational therapy or speech. Then it’s home to snack, watch a little TV and do some homework. Sometimes, when Zac’s not feeling well or we’re sick they offer to let him spend the night so we can rest. When Zac wandered off a few weeks ago and I couldn’t get in contact with my wife they came rushing over to help look for him with me. Now that you know how great they are and all the wonderful things they do I just wanted to take a moment to say “thanks”. We do really appreciate all you do for us and we love you lots. We really couldn’t do it without you.
Suspending Disbelief
Posted on June 11th, 2008 by Loyd
We first suspected, well I say we but really I mean my wife. She first suspected there might be something wrong with Zac when he was almost a year old. Tania kept saying how she thought he had “regressed” and I kept saying “some kids don’t talk until they’re almost 2 dear.” We played it by ear for a while waiting for Zac to start talking but that day never seemed to come. One day my wife asks me if I could go to a meeting at a school with Zac until she gets there. Some people are going to assess Zac to see if he’s autistic.
I was furious. “What the hell? There’s nothing wrong with my son. He’s just taking his own time.” Though I was pissed-off deep inside I knew it was the right thing to do. So, about a week later, I picked my son up from my in-laws and drove him to a local school. We went inside one of the resource buildings and met with a special education instructor, a school nurse and a representative from an advocacy agency. We talked. I answered some questions and they played with Zac with different toys. After a bit my wife came in and sat down with us while they continued to play with my son. After about another 20 minutes of playing the 3 began to compare notes and write down scores then before they even told us he was autistic they started discussing treatment options with us. I listened politely just buying my time until we got out of there.
“These people are quacks,” I thought. “Not one degree among them and they’re passing judgement on my beautiful little boy. Dooming him to a life as an outcast?” I wasn’t buying it and I told my wife so. “No way. They’re full of crap. I want someone who knows what they’re doing to take a look not a teacher and a school nurse.”
So a couple days later my wife called the advocacy group and they gave us the information for the University of California Davis Mind Institute in Sacramento. Early one morning in November we drove the 100 miles to Sacramento with my 2 year old son to the UC Davis Medical Center and the Mind Institute. Like normal we arrived early. We waited in the parking lot eating crackers and trying to nap until the time of our appointment. Eventually we went in and waited in the play area until they were ready for us. We went into the room and were only in there about 15 minutes when the doctors left. A few minutes later they came back and began going over the report. Another clinician had been watching on CCTV and through a one way mirror. Zac was indeed autistic. The clinicians spent some time going over what autism was and the new ways it was being treated. I sat there in the chair numb from head to toe. I’d heard but I hadn’t heard. I was denying everything to myself.
After we left we drove home in relative silence until just a few miles from our house. The whole way I’d been thinking about the days ordeal. I knew I had to do what was best for my little boy and that would require me to suspend my disbelief and accept what I couldn’t to be the truth. As we neared home we began to talk about our options. My wife called the advocacy group and scheduled a meeting to get Zac into a school and get us into their program.
It’s hard to accept the truth sometimes. If you suspect your child is autistic, if they have had a perceived “regression” in social and functional skills, take your child in to be tested. It was really hard for me to accept the diagnosis at first; building a wall of denial to protect me from getting hurt. Sometimes though, it’s only by putting it all on the line we can help our children. Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion but know that what you’re hearing might be the truth that you’ll have to accept.
Right now I have 3 cousins in my immediate family who have 3 children that are possibly autistic. Only one of the kids has been diagnosed. The parents of the other 2 (seperate moms and dads) continue to deny there is anything wrong though their kids show every sign of autism. I hope they’ll read this an understand that although it’s hard to do the right thing, you know you have to do it for you baby.
Zac sits playing with toys at the UC Davis Mind Institute. Photo by Daddy.
Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Prepared
Posted on June 10th, 2008 by Loyd
After my son wandered off 2 weeks ago and I spent 20 harrowing minutes living out the worst nightmare of my life as I frantically raced around the neighborhood barefoot I’ve become a lot more safety conscious and pay greater attention to the details. “Did the door get locked? Where is my son now? What is he doing? Can I hear him?”
Reading Parent Hacks this morning they had posted a pretty cool little item, a USB thumb drive with the emergency information on it for your child. Though the product was offered by a company for a fee this is nothing you can’t do in Microsoft Word or in Pages on a Mac. Just open a new text document and put all the pertinent information in it.
- Photographs (front, side, rear)
- Name, address, phone
- Emergency contact information
- Medical prescriptions
- Special medical needs, allergies
- Physician information
- Insurance information
When you’re done simply save it as a PDF and put it on a $10 thumb drive you can get from any Target or Walmart or office supply store. But if your child is autistic there’s a few more things you should do. Take the personal information of your child as well as his/her picture and make a “Missing” flyer. Note on the flyer any scars, marks or other traits that might make your child easily recognizable. If your child doesn’t talk put on the flyer in big, bold letters “Non-verbal Autistic”. Also note anything that he may be afraid of or that might scare him. If you’re child should wander off it’ll only take seconds to print and being able to show people your child and hand out the flyer is invaluable. Also photos of your child from the front, side and rear are immensely helpful. I know from personal experience. In my run around the neighborhood I had nothing but my racing mind and my neighbor who was able to offer a better description than I of my own child.
Now that you’ve made a flyer of your child print one out, fold it up and put it in your wallet or purse. Make sure that every couple of weeks you take a new photos and add them to the thumb drive and your flyer then print a new copy of your flyer. This is VERY important. You child is growing and changing rapidly and slight changes to you are major differences in appearance to strangers.
It’s a good idea also to take the “missing” off your flyer, print a copy and give it to your neighbors. Especially the ones who can tell you which neighbors are on the rocks and which are cooking crack in their basement. Let them know that the child should never be wandering alone and if they see them to please grab them and call you or bring them home.
Now that we’re all done we can rest a little easier. Lets hope we never have to use our flyers.
For more information on safety for autistic kids check out autismriskmanagement.com
Kids Will Always Be Kids
Posted on June 9th, 2008 by Loyd
Sometimes as a parent of an autistic child it’s easy to get caught up in the tantrums, and fits, and whining and forget that inside your child is still that same little boy or girl you wanted when you decided to have the baby. Don’t forget that even though they may not show it outwardly they’re still kids and kids are always be kids. Let them play in the dirt. Let them eat fries and get ketchup all over their face and shirt. Don’t worry about the scrapes and cuts, every little kid gets them. Give your child a chance to be a kid. Whether or not you realize, it’s good for them and it’s good for you. So take a moment to relax, let all your cares fade away and just be a kid again with your child. You’re never too old to swing on the swing or climb on the monkey bars.
Photo: Zac eats french fries and a burger at Carl’s Jr. after having a good day at school. Sometimes it’s good to give them rewards they enjoy to help build positive behaviors. We’re lucky that Zac gets as much from verbal reinforcement as he does from physical rewards (bribery). Photo by Daddy.
Some New Milestones and a 6th Birthday
Posted on June 8th, 2008 by Loyd
Although my sons 6th birthday was last week we had a birthday party for him this weekend. It was nothing elaborate. Great grandma, Uncle Eric, Cousin Ryan all came to Nonna and Papa’s for cake and ice cream. Zac swam in the inflatable pool some, floating on his back and even dipping his head in, something he’s just recently taken to doing.
When it came time to open the presents Zac also surprised us by not only showing interest in the presents, but tearing into them and pulling out the gifts inside. For parents with kids who aren’t autistic, you’re probably wondering why this is so special. Kids without autism do this all the time and sometimes it can be a pain in the butt if they find their presents before their birthday. Autistic kids tend to have a shorter attention span and become easily distracted by other things foregoing the presents to wander off an play by themselves. Zac’s apparent interest in unwrapping the presents was a HUGE milestone and one that we’ve been working with him on since he was a year old. What an awesome day!
Photo: Zac eats cake at his 6th birthday party. Photo by Daddy.
What is Autism?
Posted on June 8th, 2008 by admin
What is autism?
Autism is a complex developmental disability typically appearing during the first three years of life. Autism is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the brains normal functions impacting the development of social interaction and communication skill. Children and adults with autism typically show difficulty in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interaction, and leisure or play activities. Autism is a spectrum disorder and it affects each individual differently and at varying degrees.
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